"Join our big family!"

You've likely encountered this phrase often at the end of job posts or company social media updates.

At first glance, it seems positive. Who wouldn't want to feel "like family" with their employer and colleagues? 🤔

But as you delve deeper, some questions arise... Can we truly compare life in a company to family life? Do you negotiate a salary at birth? Can your brother fire you? Do you have an annual evaluation during the Christmas meal, in between the turkey and the ice cream cake? Of course not (or else, you have a really peculiar family).

Does this seem obvious? Maybe, but it demonstrates that the stakes are entirely different in one sphere compared to another.

In a closely-knit company, it's natural to see some family-like dynamics among colleagues. If it stops there, we're all good. But be wary of this kind of corporate culture, as it can quickly lead to its fair share of pitfalls...

Where the "family" spirit becomes harmful, even toxic, is when the classic "are you coming to tonight's afterwork?" evolves from a simple, well-meaning question to an obligation (and if you don't show up for a drink, you better have a darn good excuse!). The only feeling then is that you have to sacrifice your personal life and become wedded to your employer (for better or worse, they'll tell you... and your own desires, well, they don't really matter).

This includes working overtime "because we're all in the same boat," even when recognition doesn't always follow. It also involves the infamous "mandatory sense of belonging," which means that if you want to be seen as a good, well-integrated collaborator, you must be friends with everyone in the open office.

That's when the famous "join our big family!" becomes a disguised form of pressure (because we do everything for our family, don't we?) and breaking free from this toxic environment becomes your new goal, aiming for a company that encourages defining (and, more importantly, respecting!) your boundaries between professional and personal life.